对不起 (duìbuqǐ): How to say sorry in Chinese

Three examples

1. 对不起，我来晚了。

   Duìbuqǐ, wǒ lái wǎn le.

   Sorry, I'm late.

2. 对不起，我不知道。

   Duìbuqǐ, wǒ bù zhīdào.

   Sorry, I didn't know.

3. 对不起，我有点儿忙。

   Duìbuqǐ, wǒ yǒudiǎnr máng.

   Sorry, I'm a little busy.

Stroke order

Read the character shapes below, then play each character’s strokes in order.

Choosing sorry in Chinese for a real apology

Duìbuqǐ is an apology. Use it when you want to acknowledge that you made a mistake, caused inconvenience, or did something that affected another person. It can be spoken on its own when the situation is obvious, or followed by a short explanation when the listener needs to know what happened.

Before choosing sorry in Chinese, identify what you are apologizing for. If you arrived after an agreed time, interrupted someone, or made an error that created extra work, the phrase can acknowledge your part in the problem. It is not merely a sound for attracting attention. The listener should be able to connect your apology with something in the situation.

A clear apology does not need dramatic delivery. Say the expression, make any necessary explanation brief, and allow the other person to respond. If there is something practical to fix, the words are only one part of handling it. This is true even when your Chinese is limited: a short, sincere apology connected to the actual mistake is more useful than a long memorized formula that avoids saying what went wrong.

Separate an apology from a small social interruption

Bù hǎoyìsi can be useful for a smaller social inconvenience, embarrassment, or a polite interruption. Its English translation depends on context: it may be close to “sorry” or “excuse me.” Duìbuqǐ more directly presents an apology. These expressions overlap, but they are not interchangeable in every situation.

Avoid turning the contrast into a rigid ranking in which one phrase is always correct for small problems and the other is reserved only for major ones. Tone, relationship, and the actual mistake influence the choice. For a beginner, the useful distinction is functional: are you apologizing for something you did, or easing a minor social interruption? Start with that question rather than a supposedly universal scale of seriousness.

Also separate both expressions from an ordinary request. Qǐng means “please” or can introduce a polite invitation or request; it does not by itself acknowledge a mistake. If you simply need someone to do something, a request may be the relevant language. If you interrupted them while making it, there may also be a reason to acknowledge that interruption. Understanding the different jobs prevents you from using any polite word as a substitute for all the others.

Add an explanation without turning it into an excuse

The short expression wǒ cuò le means “I was wrong” or “I made a mistake.” It directly recognizes an error. It does not describe the error in detail, so the listener still relies on the situation or what comes next. This can be a useful phrase to understand alongside an apology, provided it matches what actually happened.

An explanation helps when it supplies information the other person needs. It becomes less helpful if it is so long that the apology disappears inside it. When practicing, separate three ideas in English before you try Chinese: the acknowledgment, the explanation, and any practical next step. You do not need to force all three into a complicated sentence beyond your current vocabulary.

The existing examples already show apologies with short explanations. Identify which words perform the apology and which words tell you more about the situation. That division is more transferable than memorizing the complete example as a script for every mistake. If your real situation differs, keep the apology but do not reuse an explanation that is untrue. Choosing sorry in Chinese should help you communicate responsibility, not simply produce a fluent-sounding sequence.

Follow the neutral middle syllable used on this page

The page writes duìbuqǐ as one word. Duì has a fourth tone, bu is neutral, and qǐ has a third tone. The unmarked middle syllable is intentional. Do not replace it with a full fourth tone simply because you learned a dictionary reading for the same character in another context.

This is a useful reminder that a familiar written character can behave differently inside a fixed expression. Learn the word's pronunciation as a whole. The middle syllable should be lighter than its neighbors, but it should not disappear. Listen to the existing recording for how the three syllables connect, then compare your whole-word rhythm with it.

English speakers sometimes stretch the final syllable to make an apology sound more emotional. Keep the word recognizable before experimenting with expressive delivery. The third tone does not require an exaggerated deep dip every time it occurs in speech. A calm voice and appropriate timing can convey sincerity without distorting the pronunciation. Practice once slowly, then once as part of an imagined exchange: acknowledge the mistake, pause, and let the listener answer. This keeps the sound pattern connected to the phrase's conversational purpose.

Recognize reassurance without demanding it

After an apology, you may hear méi guānxi, meaning “it's okay” or “it doesn't matter” in this context. This is a possible response from the person receiving the apology. It is useful to recognize, but it is not something you can require the other person to say. They may instead explain what happened or tell you what they need next.

Keep the conversational roles clear. Duìbuqǐ belongs to the person apologizing; the reassuring response belongs to the person deciding how to answer. A beginner may learn both expressions together and accidentally use the reassurance before the other person has responded. That can sound as though the speaker is dismissing their own mistake. Wait and listen instead.

For practice, imagine one person making a small mistake and another accepting the apology. Identify each person's turn without adding a long dialogue. Then imagine that the mistake still needs fixing. The apology can remain appropriate even when the reply is not reassurance. This helps you avoid treating a polite exchange as an automatic two-line script. Language gives you a way to acknowledge the situation; the other person still has their own reaction and their own turn.